On a cold day in January 2001, my five-year-old son and I snuggled together on the couch while his younger brother and sister napped. We had just finished our homeschooling lessons for the day, which consisted of reading some of his favorite story books together and probably adding and subtracting hot wheels cars.
As we cuddled, I asked him, “Jared, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“You know….” he said, looking at me like of course I should know. I made a few guesses, based on his current interests: Fireman? Policeman? Garbage truck driver?
“Nope.” He shook his head, then graciously gave me a hint. “It starts with a D.”
“Hmmm. A doctor?” I guessed.
“Nope,” he said again. “It starts with a G and a D.”
I thought harder and came up with, “A gold digger?”
“Nope. A good dad.” He was so serious! But then he grinned, his chubby, innocent cheeks distracting me to tickles and kisses.
The only reason I remember this conversation is because that night I wrote it down in my journal, somehow knowing that one day it would be a joy to stumble across.
Through my journals I see and remember not just sweet little interactions like this one, but all the prayers I have prayed for my children—four of them born within seven years. Fretful, intense prayers for healing of sicknesses and of relationships. Prayers for the future, for their life partners, for their life’s work. For truth to reign in their hearts.
Early in the book of Deuteronomy, Moses challenges the Israelites to remember all that God has done for them:
“But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren.” (Deuteronomy 4:9 NLT)
The phrase “what you yourselves have seen” only refers to a multitude of miraculous acts of power from the hand of the Lord as he led his people to freedom. “Don’t let these memories escape,” Moses says, because memories do sometimes.
Seeing God’s hand at work through my written memories gives me hope for those prayers that are still unanswered, and for future prayers that I know are coming. I am reminded that he still holds my kids in his hands, not just because I’ve been putting them there for the last 30 years, but because with those hands he gave them life. And he loves them more than I ever could.
Even if journaling is not your thing, I encourage you, my friend, to take some time to remember. Think back to the days when your now-adult children were small, and remember the prayers you breathed over them as they slept, as they fought, as they upended your day with joyous, exhausting chaos.
Then remember the answers. Maybe they were answered in ways you couldn’t have fathomed at the time they were spoken—or written, or screamed, or whimpered. Scribble them down now and remember and share them with your kids. The marvel of Moses’ exhortation is that the works of the Lord are meant to be shared, to bring about hope and praise. It’s the whole purpose of the retelling of God’s story, of retelling our own stories—to be strengthened by the hope that is God.
And then? Give thanks, because that same God who heard your prayers for your children when they were small still hears them.
One day a few years ago, I received a Snapchat video from my daughter-in-law, 750 miles away in Arkansas. She had quietly recorded my son Jared from the hallway outside the bedroom as he giggled and roared with their five-year-old foster child, their dog running with wagging tail to join the fun.
These days my phone and digital frame are filled with pictures and Facetime calls from my son, his wife, and their almost two-year-old daughter. He is living his best life with these girls, a place of full-circle sweetness, with sugar on top.
My son’s innocent, five-year-old life goal, a seed planted in his tiny heart by his creator and turned into his momma’s prayer, has by the great grace of a loving God become a prayer answered.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21
Note: This piece is an updated version of a guest newsletter article I wrote for the wonderful Empty Nest Coach Pamela Henkelman. If you are an empty-nest momma, I encourage you to visit her site for all the fun, grace, and wisdom she has to offer!
