When my husband and I decided to put our house on the market, our realtor suggested using a home stager. Statistics proved that staging a home before showing it to prospective buyers dramatically increased the chances of it selling.
A few days later, I followed a sweet, sophisticated woman around our house as she instructed me to remove family photos from the walls and replace them with artwork, store unnecessary furniture, and set the dining room table with pretty dishes and fresh flowers.
She also told me, very matter of fact, that the carpet needed to be replaced. This was the most expensive suggestion she made, but it really was necessary. Two adults, four kids, a dog, and a cat over ten years had taken their toll.
I agonized over the carpet decision. What would a potential buyer like? What could we afford? What were the “in” colors and textures?
Immobilizing Fear
For those of us who struggle with perfectionistic tendencies, it can be difficult to find peace when making decisions.
Faced with two or more choices, we can become frozen, unable to decide which next step to take. As we contemplate all our options, the last thing we want to do is pick the “wrong” one.
Is this you right now? Are you caught in the crosshairs of decision-making? Your determination might be more important than picking out new carpeting—you may be trying to decide if you should take that job offer, where you should move, or whether to start that ministry. You have the information you need to make an informed decision but feel paralyzed, too afraid the choice you make won’t be “right” or “perfect.” The dread of being stranded with unhappy results can be immobilizing.
If you’re stuck deciding between this or that, yes or no, or here or there, remember that the root of decision paralysis is often fear. It may be our fear of the long-term consequences. It may be fear of what others will say or think in response to our choice. It may be a fear that we won’t choose what is God’s will for us. It may be a fear of failure.
Ultimately, fear of the unknown comes from our universal desire to be in control. When we know exactly what will happen, or at least what to expect, we feel more in command of the situation, which is very comforting.
The big “What If?”, however, can cause our minds to conjure up some awful worst-case scenarios.
What if I end up hating the new job? What if we move out of state and then my parents get sick? What if the elders at church shoot down my idea for a ministry?
What if we can’t sell the house due to my choice of carpeting?
Freeing Truth
Here are four truths to remember when you find yourself frozen in your decision-making:
1) God is trustworthy. Psalm 33 tells us that God loves whatever is just and good, and his unfailing love fills the earth. We can trust everything he does (vv. 4-5). That same psalm reminds us that the whole world appeared at his command. When we remember that this powerful God is the same God who knows the number of hairs on our heads, we can trust in his love for us. We don’t have to be afraid of the future.
2) God doesn’t waste anything. In fact, he brings good out of all things. (Romans 8:28). He doesn’t waste any of our experiences. By his grace, he often provides a way for us to use in the future something that we’ve learned in the past. No matter the outcome of our decision, he will use it to help conform us to his image; it may just be a temporary stop on our path of sanctification.
3) God will never leave you. The most formidable “what if” scenarios we conceive rarely come to pass. Even so, one thing we can be sure of is that we can trust God to remain by our side. God’s grace will cover even a not-so-great decision, and he will not leave us after we make it (Deuteronomy 31:6). He will still be near us in the new job, in the new ministry, in the new city, even in a living room with funky carpeting. Like Peter in the boat on the sea of Galilee, we need to step out onto the water in faith (Matthew 14:22-33).
4) Fear is not from God. Our enemy wants to use fear to draw our attention away from the trustworthiness of God and deep into our own insecurities. Remember, he prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for whom he can devour (1 Peter 5:8). He loves for us to list out all the frightening things that could go wrong and then dwell on them. But God did not give us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7).
The Peace of Relinquished Control
After visiting several home stores and laying a plethora of carpet samples in our living room, we finally settled on a plush, Mocha Latte color to cover the main floor, stairway, and upstairs hall.
The staged house looked gorgeous; it sold in less than a week.
But according to our realtor, the first thing the new owners did was replace the carpet! In the end, all my agonizing really didn’t matter.
If you are deciding between carpet styles, whether to move forward with a medical procedure, looking for a new church, or choosing where to go to college, don’t let your fear give the enemy a foothold. We serve a loving, powerful God, and he can be trusted with the outcome of our decisions.
For deeper reflection or journaling:
What decision do you need to make that is taking up a lot of brain space right now?
Can you list out the pros and cons of each possible choice?
Write out the worst-case scenarios for each choice, then look up Jeremiah 32:17. Are any of these potential scenarios too much for God to handle?
Can you identify the root of your indecision? Is it fear? Selfishness? Pride? Control (or lack thereof)?
Write out a prayer confessing your fears to God, asking him to forgive any distrust you may be feeling. Ask him to help you trust him for your future.
Meditate on the following verses:
Matthew 6:33; Proverbs 3:5-6; Isaiah 26:3; Proverbs 19:21; Psalm 37:4; 2 Corinthians 5:7
Read and reflect on Psalm 33, preferably in the NLT version. If you like, highlight and memorize verses 20-22.
For your convenience, I've provided a printable PDF version of these questions here.
Of the four truths, knowing God does not waste anything is so comforting. Even if our decision turns out to be the "wrong" one, nothing we do is without value and God will turn it to benefit someone, someday. My responsibility is to seek God's will for the really tough decisions, and trust the Holy Spirit's leading as I make them. Great post, Cheryl!