That’s Not Your Father’s Voice: How to Silence Your Inner Critic
- Cheryl Balcom
- Apr 8
- 7 min read
Do you ever hear a nagging voice in your head that says, “You’re not doing enough” or “You’re doing it wrong”? Sometimes the voice may say, “Who do you think you are, thinking you can _____ (fill in the blank)?” or “Now why did you say that?” Some of us may hear this more often than we’d like, and it can leave us feeling discouraged. It may be an inner critic. It may be your enemy.
Friend, if this is your struggle, I’d love to share some steps you can take to recognize the voice of your Father, take your thoughts captive, and silence that inner critic so you can live life joyfully!
Discern the Voice of the Father from the Voice of the Critic
We have a very real accuser: the same one who tempted Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11), who tested Job to watch him curse God (Job 1:6-22), and who caused Judas to betray Christ (Matthew 26:14-25; Luke 22:3-6). He is not looking for our good and he doesn’t want us to succeed.
Sometimes he does this by weaving truth with lies. Therefore, it is important to be discerning.
Scripture tells us that God is for us, not against us (Romans 8:31). He is on our side, and he wants what is best for us.
Once we have accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to indwell us. Jesus referred to him as our comforter, helper, and teacher. Because he is sent by the Father and the Son, thoughts and promptings from the Holy Spirit will sound like the Father and the Son.
After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice. -John 10:4-5
The fact that Jesus laid down his life for us, marred by sin though we are, tells us that God is not “out to get us.” No, he is all about redeeming us, and he does so in love. His voice is not one of constant criticism but of gentle restoration and love.
God speaks the truth in love when he tells us we are sinners. But then he provides the solution to our sinfulness through the greatest act of love ever—the offering of his sinless son as a sacrifice in our place.
So, when those relentless thoughts sneak into your head, take them to the Lord, the One who is on your side.
In prayer, ask the Holy Spirit (who is your helper, your teacher), to show you if there’s truth in the accusations you’re hearing. Maybe the only parental voice you heard growing up sounds a lot like this voice in your head—so go to Scripture. Read and make note of the tone of our righteous and holy God. Learn to recognize his voice so that the voice of the accuser stands out like a National Enquirer headline: blatantly exaggerated, most likely not true.
If Scripture and the Holy Spirit convict you that you need to repent of something, don’t hesitate to confess to the Lord and ask for forgiveness—it will come freely and immediately (1 John 1:9)!
If you come away from prayer at peace and with a clear conscience before the Lord, you can know that the accusation was not from your Father. It was the voice of your enemy.
So, when that critical voice lambasts you with harsh charges, stop, listen, and ask: Does that sound like something my Father might say?
Learn to recognize his voice so that the voice of the accuser stands out like a National Enquirer headline: blatantly exaggerated, most likely not true.
Take Thoughts Captive to Silence the Inner Critic
I was surprised to learn that not everyone has a critical voice running through their head. I had wrestled with that voice for so long—the voice that always seemed to be harping at me, berating me, criticizing me. And it made me critical of others.
Whether we call it an inner critic, a critical spirit, or the voice of the enemy, we know it’s not from God. But it can be a pattern of thinking that develops over time and becomes so ingrained that after a while we don’t think it’s optional. We think that’s just how our brain is wired. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
In 2 Corinthians 10:5, Paul warns believers to “take captive every thought to make them obedient to Christ.”
Tune in and be alert for that nagging voice. Try to catch it immediately, before the thought spirals and drags you down with it. Once you’ve recognized this not-from-God thought, grab it by its slimy, wriggling tail and hold it up to the glorious light of truth.
Again, is this the way God would talk to you? Does it sound like what you know is true from Scripture? The more you develop this discipline, the easier it will be to recognize what is not from God.
Thoughts that get stuck in our heads often translate into feelings, then actions. Take thoughts captive that cause you to think critically of others instead of with grace; thoughts that overanalyze things you’ve done in the past; worst-case scenarios and what-ifs. All the things that cause your gaze to shift away from the One who loves you, the One who is for you, who is your Rock and your Redeemer.
You will find real peace as you strengthen the discipline of taking these thoughts captive.
Suit up to do Battle with the Enemy
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him and be strong in your faith. -1 Peter 5:8-9
Our enemy is relentless, especially when he knows that we desire to honor Christ with our thoughts and our lives.
Picture those thoughts from the enemy as Paul describes them in Ephesians 6:16—like fiery darts or flaming arrows! They don’t sound like your Father, and they don’t line up with his word. The enemy doesn’t mess around, he will do whatever it takes to shift your thoughts away from God and onto yourself, from truth to lies, from hope to despair.
To keep from renting our headspace to the enemy for free, we must daily suit up in the armor of God. We find the catalog of attire in that same chapter of Ephesians: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, and the shoes of peace. We are to take up the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit—and pray continually.
The truth sets us free, so wrap that belt around your waist first thing every morning and make the enemy flee. In the gospel of John, we are told that darkness will never extinguish the light (John 1:5); in the same way, repeating the truth to yourself chases the darkness away.
The best way to do this is to memorize Scripture (the sword of the Spirit). Find a few short verses, such as 1 John 4:4, or Romans 8:31, and commit them to memory for those times when you are tempted to listen to and believe the enemy’s voice.
The helmet of salvation is especially important in the battle for our mind. While the enemy wants to sow kernels of doubt about our salvation, we can cling to the truth that in Christ we are free indeed—we are a new creation. While the enemy wants us to replay every sin, every past mistake, or bad choice, Jesus’ blood shed on the cross has already destroyed sin’s hold on us. We receive new mercies every single day—with no expiration date (Lamentations 3:23)!
Prayer is another powerful piece of armor. Through prayer, we can ask for protection, clear thoughts, and strength. Through prayer we can praise God, thank God, worship God, and keep our minds focused on him.
Give Thanks to God
You have learned to discern the voice of the Father from the voice of the enemy, to take your thoughts captive, and to put on the armor of God. What’s next? It’s time to give thanks.
When we fill up our minds with the truth of Scripture, we will find ourselves overflowing with gratitude. We were once sinners, dead in our transgressions, this is true. But God sent his Son to pay the price for our sin, to reconcile us to God. We are forgiven, justified, and are now counted as righteous in his sight. We’ve been sealed with the Holy Spirit as a guarantee of the promise of eternal glory in the presence of the Lord. There is so much to thank God for!
Giving thanks is an important discipline to develop as a believer. It is a practice that can replace those negative thoughts that desire to control us, and the benefits are endless.
When that nagging, negative voice starts to whine, take it captive, then give thanks to the Lord. Thank him for anything you want—for his Son Jesus, his word, and the very breath in your lungs. Thank him for your salvation, your family, your full belly. Focusing on what you have been given will quickly fill that space in your mind with contentment and joy. Even better, it will overflow onto the people around you; they will see it in your face, hear it in your voice, and want to know more.
Let’s open our eyes to see all the good gifts God has given us, and let our gratitude overpower the voice of the enemy who only wants to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). May our hearts and minds be filled instead with joy for our salvation, worship of God’s holy name, and praise for His faithful love.
Scriptures for reflection:
Thank you Cheryl. I needed to hear this as I couldn’t get to sleep last night and I allowed the enemy to fill my head with negativity. It snowballs and then I feel bad about my self for things I did or didn’t do.
I need to fill that space in my mind with thanking God for all the good things in my life, starting with God and the sacrifice Jesus made for me. I want to fill that space in my mind with contentment and joy rather than regrets.
Thank you so much dear friend.
Kathy Quinn
Cheryl,
Thank you for this encouraging piece full of Scripture to help us remember to listen to the truth that comes from the Lord! ❤️🙏🏻